"Friends, I have done you a great wrong."
So began the letter left in a teapot on a high shelf in stall 57 of an antique barn in the quaint village of Quimchee, New Hampshire. The teapot was chosen as a vessel for it's sheer unattractiveness, surely no one would ever make purchase of the sad, chipped kettle.
The letter would eventually be found and read by it's intended recipients, though the author was long gone. He had run in shame, and a message explaining his departure was needed.
As with so many other chapters in the official travel log of The TomorrowMen, we jump ahead too far, and explanation is required.
• Chapter 401, Who is Lazarus Longfellow? •
Lazarus was sad. His friends had left, again. He didn't know if he would see them in two weeks or two hundred years. The scientists, however, would surely be seeing Lazarus again almost immediately. He was always there for them. He'd get their message, show up at the appointed place (and time), and suss out the situation. He'd have a ground plan ready for the T-Men when they showed up, so they could quickly execute their research and move on.
This recurring scenario had become the story of his very long life. How long? He didn't care anymore, the decades and centuries had become a blur of boring politics, wars that solved nothing and lovers who withered while he remained, eternally, the same.
Laz describes his first real meeting with the TomorrowMen crew as accidental. He was hunting a hunting wooly mammoth, when four men appeared from behind a bush. They were ridiculously dressed in what he would come to know as pith helmets and canvas clothes that were better suited to a swamp safari in the 19th Century. Clearly they were lost, but he didn't know yet how badly. They asked him if this was Africa, and he mumbled, "I don't know, maybe."
An odd green idol hanging around the neck of one of the men caught his eye, and he recalled that he had seen someone wearing the same thing years earlier, while watching a volcano explode. At that time, the man's clothes had matched his own.
Lazurus told the four men that he recognized them, but they said that was impossible, as they had never been in these parts before. He reminded them of the volcano and the shock registered on their faces.
"How would you know about that? It happened almost one hundred years ago in a village far from here" said the leader, a man who introduced himself as Mycroft Eloi.
The last time Lazurus had told anybody his secret, he had been stoned, then drowned, and then burnt at the stake. When none of those tortures took, he escaped his village to explore the world, which was much bigger than anybody had imagined.
He decided to tell his story to the men, how he had outlived all of his family, and never grew grey hair, or felt a hunger in his belly. The madness didn't seem to scare them, and they whispered quietly amongst themselves for a minute.
The man called Grommet X stepped forward, and told Lazarus to have a seat, what he had to say may make him dizzy. What a fantastic tale it was. They were time travelers, able to move about freely across the eons. "Scientists," he said, and another word, "Explorers," neither of which had any meaning to Laz.
Then an offer: "We need someone like you. Someone who can be here when we arrive, and help us with our cover so we can move about freely and unquestioned."
"To make sure we're not dressed like dandies in the Pleistocene," interjected Quark Parsec.
"We need to make our observations without disturbing the people we study. If anybody found out about us or our ability, it would cause great harm to the time continuum" continued Eloi.
Then Mycroft showed Laz a green idol (he called it a medallion) and put it around his neck. "When this lights up, it's us sending you a message. We'll tell you where we want to meet you, and what we need. Usually it's just some clothes or maps."
"Or guitar strings..." said the one called Dr. Kilometers. This phrase made no sense at all.
"And you must never tell anyone about us," intoned Skyles Angstrom with a measure of menace.
So began the long working relationship between Lazarus (later Lazarus Longfellow) and the time traveling TomorrowMen.
For the Tomorrowmen crew, time was an exciting realm of exploration. Not so for Lazarus. Time equated abject boredom. He saw people make the same mistakes over and over. He had learned and used every sure fire pick-up line. He amused himself with current technologies. He had and kicked every possible bad habit. He saw the world. He invested a few dollars in every possible stock and never sold-- he made billions (and, yes, the TMen slipped him a winning Lotto number now and then as payment for his services).
Yet Lazarus Longfellow was utterly alone, unwilling to love again, and lay another to rest.
His only excitement came when the medallion glowed green and coordinates appeared across the glass. Time, place, project. Laz flew into action, making preparations, travel arrangements, or learning a local language (sometimes the T-Men would give him 10 years notice!) He would show up and wait for them to appear, his old friends, including him once again in their scientific quest. On arrival, they'd be so familiar with him, as though they had just seen him, sometimes asking him about something he was interested in, but then remembering that it hadn't been invented yet.
Lazarus would try to guess how much time had passed in their world. Of course the scientist aged; he had seen them with full heads of hair and bald heads as well.
Laz and the T-Men had grown close over the years. After the tests were finished and the notes compiled, there was drinking and mayhem. Bonding like brothers, and then they were gone again, often leaving him only with a bar tab and a hole in his heart.
It was around the year 1960, by man's calendar, that the TomorrowMen arrived in Southern California to study beach culture, specifically the great advancement in design of women's swim ware, known as the bikini. Lazarus was there, of course to facilitate their needs, and provide sunblock for the ultra pale scientists. But, the T-Men were more interested in the indigenous music of the local teens, known as "surf music". They were infatuated with it, and began to study it almost exclusively.
Laz had never seen them so passionate about any other subject. They learned to play the instruments and songs. They bought the records, they bought the clothes, they did the "Surfer's Stomp" at the concerts. They seemed to forget about their mission, and wanted to stay in this time.
Lazarus began to hatch a diabolical plan.
Eventually, the TomorrowMen had to leave and report their findings to whatever agency paid their bills. As always, they promised to come back soon, and they craved more surf music. Laz would be ready.
Unfortunately, they couldn't return until 2008, and by then, much had changed on Earth. Societal devolution and advancements in technology had taken much of the joy and fun out of music, and surf music was all but forgotten, of interest only to a small, underground group of fans.
The T-Men were greatly saddened to see this when they arrived, and crest fallen, they vowed to leave as soon as possible. Laz had other ideas, and, quite literally, threw a monkey wrench into their plans, when he threw a monkey wrench into their time machine. It broke the momentium tank, releasing all the precious fuel they needed to get back to their own time, the year 3000.
Mycroft and the crew were dumfounded when they saw what had happened, and yet, they never suspected their long time friend and crew member en honoraria was the culprit of the crime. He knew they were stranded, stuck, and not going anywhere until they could find Momentium, and element that wouldn't be discovered for a few centuries.
The T-Men were diligent in their research. They could not, however, work all the time, so they started playing their beloved surf music as a way to relax. Laz loved to listen to the group, and loved having his friends stay with him for an extended period.
Eventually, two of the scientists, Quark Parsec and Dr. Kilometers had to leave to follow up Momentium research in other parts of the world, and the Tomorrowmen were in need of another guitar player.
Lazarus Longfellow's crafty plan finally came to fruition when Mycroft, Grommet X and Skyles Angstrom asked him to join their membership. He was incredibly happy, though his sickening greed gnawed at his gut. How long could he keep his black secret, while watching his friends toil away uselessly on their research?
What happens next, and what was written in the letter stuffed in the teapot? Be sure to read the next exciting installment of "The TomorrowMen Chronicles" available June 15, 2090 at a news stand near you!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Marin IJ Halloween contest
"Poor kid, Mom died last Spring. Now everything makes him jump."
Bean's classmates were not so kind. They didn't know about his mother's long battle with cancer. He was just the quiet kid who was an easy target. Pop a lunch bag behind his head or jump out from behind a locker, and Bean would hit the roof. No scream, just shock. The pranks would get worse he feared, as Halloween came closer.
Halloween was no joke to Bean, who had seen death. The dull hours by the hospital bed, jolted out of a nap by the alarm of a breathing machine. The confusing and frantic last minute efforts by tall, faceless grownups in white gowns. The ultimate silence and then the gray weeks that followed with his family pretending to be cheerful around him. Only Granna remained the same, her eyes always looking up, forward.
The taunts continued in the new school year, but by late fall the 5th Grade bullies wore skull masks that were supposed to be classroom decorations. There was talk about the amount of candy that would be collected. Even in Bean's third grade class, the kids were aware that Marin County parents were extremely generous, even if they didn't want their own children to have that much sugar. Bean liked the candy part, but feared having to dress up and go to stranger's houses.
By the 31st, Bean had firmly decided against going out. The combination of threats and spooky decorations were too much for him. Plus, his Dad had called earlier in the day and said Bean would have to go out with Granna, as he had to work on some big money deal. Well, they could sit at home, Bean thought, and watch a movie. He was extremely surprised when Granna showed up in a complete witch costume with her gray hair teased into a mess and green warts stuck on her nose.
Granna looked at Bean, still wearing jeans and a T-shirt. "I thought we were going out trick or treating?" Bean didn't say anything, prompting Granna to sit beside him on the couch and give him a hug. it still smelled like Granna, so he hugged the witch back, then burst into tears.
"Why is it all about skeletons and death?" he choked. "Mom's skeleton is in the ground, and she's not coming back. The people don't understand, the kids think it's funny to be dead."
Granna whispered, "Halloween is a celebration of life."
Bean hadn't been expecting that.
"Life is like the Earth going around the Sun. If it stayed in one place like a memory, we could never move forward. You were born and one day you will die. You can't have one without the other. You can't have Halloween without Easter".
Easter? Easter confused Bean too– bunnies and church, egg hunts and ski week.
"Easter is a baby shower for our planet, when we celebrate the birth, but think of it as the rebirth, of nature. Nature isn't really born in the Spring, it just wakes up from the Winter. Like the egg and chicken thing, which came first? They came together, you can't have a chicken without an egg."
Bean hoped she would explain the bunnies business.
"Halloween isn't a funeral, we just recognize that the earth is going to go to sleep for a while. So we have a party, with orange pumpkins that look like the fall moon, and treats that are the fruits of our labor for working hard all year."
"What about the skeletons?"
"Bones are something that we all have inside us, everybody. Bones hold us up while we live and then stick around long after we die. We celebrate our living bones and remember the bones of our ancestors. As long as we remember those who came before us, they never really die."
"Mom will live as long as I remember her?"
"Yes."
Granna convinced Bean to put a costume on, a bunny suit from when he was in the chorus of "The Velveteen Rabbit" for a school play. He looked out of place amongst the ninjas and teen pop starlets roaming his neighborhood. About an hour into it, Bean relaxed and his jack-o-lantern filled. Granna got into a conversation with a neighbor and Bean walked ahead.
It was then that the thugs from 5th Grade spotted Bean and started to follow him. He broke into a sweat inside the wool rabbit suit, and started to run. They gave chase but Bean jumped under a hedge and they ran by. By the time they came back, he had a plan.
He emptied his candy on the sidewalk and climbed up on a shed near his neighbor's trampoline. As the boys fought over the dropped sweets, Bean launched himself off the shed and onto the trampoline. As he shot into the air, he let out the most ghoulish, blood curdling scream he could find, one that had been brewing inside him for months. The bullies concentration broke as they looked up to see an enormous crazed rabbit, backlit by elaborate orange light, flying toward them. They froze for a moment, then scattered in every direction, dumping their own bags as they fled.
Granna's stories got more elaborate as Bean, who became Ben, got older. Her wisdom always revealed how opposites need the other to live. Bunnies and goblins, birth and death, and the scary witch who was also his sweet Granna.
Bean's classmates were not so kind. They didn't know about his mother's long battle with cancer. He was just the quiet kid who was an easy target. Pop a lunch bag behind his head or jump out from behind a locker, and Bean would hit the roof. No scream, just shock. The pranks would get worse he feared, as Halloween came closer.
Halloween was no joke to Bean, who had seen death. The dull hours by the hospital bed, jolted out of a nap by the alarm of a breathing machine. The confusing and frantic last minute efforts by tall, faceless grownups in white gowns. The ultimate silence and then the gray weeks that followed with his family pretending to be cheerful around him. Only Granna remained the same, her eyes always looking up, forward.
The taunts continued in the new school year, but by late fall the 5th Grade bullies wore skull masks that were supposed to be classroom decorations. There was talk about the amount of candy that would be collected. Even in Bean's third grade class, the kids were aware that Marin County parents were extremely generous, even if they didn't want their own children to have that much sugar. Bean liked the candy part, but feared having to dress up and go to stranger's houses.
By the 31st, Bean had firmly decided against going out. The combination of threats and spooky decorations were too much for him. Plus, his Dad had called earlier in the day and said Bean would have to go out with Granna, as he had to work on some big money deal. Well, they could sit at home, Bean thought, and watch a movie. He was extremely surprised when Granna showed up in a complete witch costume with her gray hair teased into a mess and green warts stuck on her nose.
Granna looked at Bean, still wearing jeans and a T-shirt. "I thought we were going out trick or treating?" Bean didn't say anything, prompting Granna to sit beside him on the couch and give him a hug. it still smelled like Granna, so he hugged the witch back, then burst into tears.
"Why is it all about skeletons and death?" he choked. "Mom's skeleton is in the ground, and she's not coming back. The people don't understand, the kids think it's funny to be dead."
Granna whispered, "Halloween is a celebration of life."
Bean hadn't been expecting that.
"Life is like the Earth going around the Sun. If it stayed in one place like a memory, we could never move forward. You were born and one day you will die. You can't have one without the other. You can't have Halloween without Easter".
Easter? Easter confused Bean too– bunnies and church, egg hunts and ski week.
"Easter is a baby shower for our planet, when we celebrate the birth, but think of it as the rebirth, of nature. Nature isn't really born in the Spring, it just wakes up from the Winter. Like the egg and chicken thing, which came first? They came together, you can't have a chicken without an egg."
Bean hoped she would explain the bunnies business.
"Halloween isn't a funeral, we just recognize that the earth is going to go to sleep for a while. So we have a party, with orange pumpkins that look like the fall moon, and treats that are the fruits of our labor for working hard all year."
"What about the skeletons?"
"Bones are something that we all have inside us, everybody. Bones hold us up while we live and then stick around long after we die. We celebrate our living bones and remember the bones of our ancestors. As long as we remember those who came before us, they never really die."
"Mom will live as long as I remember her?"
"Yes."
Granna convinced Bean to put a costume on, a bunny suit from when he was in the chorus of "The Velveteen Rabbit" for a school play. He looked out of place amongst the ninjas and teen pop starlets roaming his neighborhood. About an hour into it, Bean relaxed and his jack-o-lantern filled. Granna got into a conversation with a neighbor and Bean walked ahead.
It was then that the thugs from 5th Grade spotted Bean and started to follow him. He broke into a sweat inside the wool rabbit suit, and started to run. They gave chase but Bean jumped under a hedge and they ran by. By the time they came back, he had a plan.
He emptied his candy on the sidewalk and climbed up on a shed near his neighbor's trampoline. As the boys fought over the dropped sweets, Bean launched himself off the shed and onto the trampoline. As he shot into the air, he let out the most ghoulish, blood curdling scream he could find, one that had been brewing inside him for months. The bullies concentration broke as they looked up to see an enormous crazed rabbit, backlit by elaborate orange light, flying toward them. They froze for a moment, then scattered in every direction, dumping their own bags as they fled.
Granna's stories got more elaborate as Bean, who became Ben, got older. Her wisdom always revealed how opposites need the other to live. Bunnies and goblins, birth and death, and the scary witch who was also his sweet Granna.
The Train Station
The Train Station
An Obvious Allegory in One Act
One evening, Clarence sat down with his son Justin to tell him a bedtime
story. Justin was a bright lad, but his Dad, probably for no just cause,
worried about him all the time. Justin didn’t seem to worry at all, as he thought he was doing fine. But Clarence saw his son heading down the same tracks he had gone, and, like every decent father on the planet, he hoped that his son would have a better and happier life than his own.
As they settled in and the story was about to begin, Clarence wanted to be sure that his son knew he was trying to impart some particular fatherly wisdom. So, he changed the names of the characters slightly, hoping that his boy would get the hint.
“There once was a boy named Jason”
“Really Dad?” Justin asked sarcastically.
“Good”, thought Clarence, “he gets it.”
“There once was a boy named Jason, who was wandering about happily in a huge city, when he came upon a great train station. The station was larger than Grand Central in New York City, and packed with commuters buzzing around briskly a they made their way to and from the tunnels that took them to the tracks. Jason descended the magnificent staircase onto the central floor of the station where he wandered through the throngs, most people were to busy to even take notice of him, although some offered an occasional “Pardon me” as they knocked into him.
Jason noticed that most people were in a tremendous hurry, others were walking a little slower, and some people were standing on the outskirts, staring with mouth agape at the great activity. He walked around a bit getting a feeling for the layout of the station; all of the things he expected to be there were– a cafe with people sitting and chatting, rest rooms, a magazine shop, the usual stuff. But after a few hours he grew bored and wanted to go home. He was able to locate the staircase and climbed it, but at the top he found that the Exit doors, the same ones he had come in, were no longer there. In their place were even more track entrances, with people hurrying in an out, obviously the were trying to make a train, or they had just gotten off and were going to another track.
Jason thought there must be another exit somewhere, and he walked the perimeter trying to find an exit, so he could head back home. But, it simply was not to be, and after many more hours and he sat and felt about to cry.
At this moment, a kindly looking older gentleman in a pressed uniform with epaulets approached him.
“Everything OK, son?”
“No, I want to go home” said Jason.
“Well, you are definitely headed in the right direction” said the man.
“Really? Where’s the exit? I can’t find one anywhere.”
“You seem like a bright boy, in your searching, did you find an exit anywhere?
“No” said Jason. He felt like crying again. The man’s words were of no help, and spun his head in circles worse than being lost in the crowd on the station floor. The man then introduced himself as “The Conductor,” and Jason told him his name.
The Conductor said, “Perhaps you just didn’t recognize them. You could continue to look for an Exit, but since you haven’t found one yet, wouldn’t you agree, bright boy that you are, that there aren’t any.”
“Well, if there are no exits, how do I get where I want to go?”
“This is a train station, may I suggest you take a train?” said the Conductor.
“How do I know which train to take?”
“Which train do you want to take?”
“The one that will take me home. Can you tell me?”
“No, you have to decide, it’s your choice. If you are old enough to be in the train station, then you’re old enough to take a train. I can help you decide, and it complicates things a bit that you don’t know, but I’m sure you can find the right train. Why don’t we walk around together and maybe you’ll see a train that’s right for you”
“What if I don’t want to take a train” asked Jason, again felt weepy, homesick.
“That’s a difficult question, but the easy answer is to say that you are already on a train. You boarded one as soon as you walked in the station.”
“It doesn’t look like I’m on a train, where are the porters and the sleeping car? I’m in the station, not on a train”. Jason was getting agitated.
“You will have to trust me on this, but you are, in fact, already on a train. A very slow moving and boring one that is barely going anywhere. But, it’s destination is ultimately the same as every other train around here, and you will get there one day. Once you get on a real train, you will see that you have been on a train since the day you were born. Anyway, let’s walk around, and you can ask me anything you like.”
Jason had no better plan, so he got up and walked with the Conductor.
Jason and the Conductor went back to the top of the steps and looked down on the station floor.
The Conductor spoke, “See them all? They are all here to catch a train. Some of them know exactly what train they want, others don’t really know what train they want but still take trains in hopes of getting them to a place where they can make a better decision.”
“That’s stupid” said Jason. “Why would you take a train if you don’t know where it’s going?”
“Because it might be headed in the right direction. People can think about where they want to go, then make an educated guess about which train will take them in there. They can ask other people on those trains if it is helping them go to where they want to go. In general, people are very helpful and happy to give directions. Incredibly, sometimes jumping on a random train will also take you where you want to go. don’t discount that piece of information.”
“Isn’t there a ticket booth? Can’t I just buy a ticket for the right train? asked Jason, knowing a little about how proper train stations (ones with Exits, for instance) work.
“No, but we do have a helpful information booth.. If we sold tickets, we’d have to guarantee that you would get there, and we just can’t do that. No guarantees in this station, just to complicated.” said the Conductor with a smirk. “And money? Who knows what that really is?”
Again, Jason grew frustrated, and his ears turned red. He took a deep breath, which always helps, and asked, “Who are the people standing at the edges watching the travelers?”
“These are people who, for whatever reason, aren’t active passengers. Maybe they never wanted to go anywhere. Sadly, some of them may have tried out the trains, and fallen off, were pushed off, or just gave up. I think the worst off are the ones who were so entertained by the spectacle, that they would rather watch than participate. However, Jason, it is important for you to remember that like you, these people are all on a train of their own, all headed for the same destination.” This talk of a final destination sounded rather ominous, but the Conductor spoke about if matter-of-factly, so it must be a given truth.
The duo descended the staircase to the floor. Jason was warming to the idea of taking a train to where he wanted to go, which still, at this point, was back home. The cumulative excitement tall around was effecting him, especially as he heard people talking about the trains they were going to catch. Some of them had interesting destinations, though he didn’t hear anything that really made him want to get on a train, yet.
The Conductor took Jason to the cafe and got him a table, then excused himself to wait in line for coffee and pastries. Jason looked around at the others in the cafe, seemed like lots of old friends sitting at tables chatting. He listened in on a group of men sitting next to him:
Guy #1- “I’m pretty happy with my train so far, it hasn’t been perfect but it’s been pretty good. I’ve heard about another train that I am going to catch in a few days, sounds like it is going closer to where I want to be”
Guy #2- “My train is perfect, it’s exactly the train I knew I wanted” but Jason thought he heard a bit of doubt in the man’s voice.
Guy #3- “I hate my train, but I can’t get off right now. Hopefully one day I can change trains. I wish I’d thought a bit more before I got on”
Guy #4- “Well, I just got on the same train that my father always took.”
Guy #5- “I don’t know, I think you guys are lucky, I am still trying to decide which train to catch, there are so many! I’ve taken a few, but nothing seems to be right for me. I’m enjoying all the different rides, but I wish I could find the right rail to roll on.”
Guy #6 was curiously silent, like he didn’t want to talk about his train, or, perhaps, his lack of one.
The men all started discussing the various choices they had made. Surprisingly, all of the men envied the other men’s decision in some ways. Jason also heard the men talk about side trips they had taken on smaller trains, but somehow they never got off the main train they were riding. Again, confusion made his head spin. The men got up and said their good-byes, and agreed to meet up again soon.
The Conductor, came back with a snack which helped revive Jason. Jason asked about the concept of being on more than one train at a time.
The Conductor wiped crumbs from his moustache, and said, “You can be on as many trains as you want, however, lets face it, if you are on too many trains you won’t be able to enjoy them all. Some people can handle riding on many trains, but most people like to be on one train and have a few smaller trains on the side to keep things interesting. People who are on just one train tend to be kind of boring, but that’s just my opinion.” And with that, he pushed his chair back and said, “Why don’t we look into a few trains and see if any are of interest to you. If you want, you can try it an see if you like it. If you don’t you can get off and try another”.
They headed into a tunnel and saw a train about to leave. More people getting on than off this one, it looked pretty nice. As they walked along side the train, Jason peered in the windows and saw the folks getting comfortable. He noticed as they progressed that the seats and cabins got nicer and more refined as they got closer to the engine. The most forward cabins were richly appointed and the passengers were very happy to be there. Jason was excited at the luxury and tried to jump right into the first class cabin, but a porter caught him and booted him out, and sternly pointed to the caboose end.
Jason looked at the Conductor, and sprayed, “What the hell? I found a train I wanted to be on, and I got kicked off.”
“Sorry, you can’t just get on at the front, you have to start at the back and work your way forward. That’s the rules. On some trains it’s easier to get to the front, but definitely, the ones with the best first class are the longest ones that require the most effort to work your way forward.”
Again, Jason was mystified, and angry. He glanced across the platform at a train that was about to leave, and even though it was in the station next to all the other trains, almost everybody avoided it. The tracks ahead of it seemed to veer off quickly in a different direction than all the other trains. It was short, just three cars and you entered into the lead car, though it was obvious that the back cars were packed like a Japanese subway at rush hour. Painted jet black, the windows were all tinted and music was blaring from inside. A sign said, “All welcome. No problem, Free ticket, One way, Get there FAST!”
Well now, this immediately appealed to Jason, and he ran over to it and stuck his head in. It smelled funny and was very dark, but a Porter came right over and offered him a seat in the First Class.
As he was about to step aboard, he heard the Conductor whisper in his ear, “If this is the train you really want to take, it leaves every ten seconds or so. You might want to check out some of the other trains first though. They might not let you ride on them once you’ve been on the black train. And, it is very, very hard to get off the black train once you get on.”
The freezing air conditioning that poured out of the black train sent a chill down Jason’s spine, and he backed off the train, seconds before it lit out of the station in an explosion of fireworks, that fizzled as soon as they burst.
Jason turned to speak to the Conductor, he had a lot more questions, but the man was not there. He thought he saw him walking back into the central station, so he ran after the blue uniform. Once he reached the main floor, he knew it would be impossible to find him amongst the bustling crowds. Jason had never felt more alone than he did now, and again retreated to the perimeter walls to reflect on his plight.
He stood among those with the slack jaws and blank stare. It was pretty entertaining to just stand on the sidelines and watch the throng of people before him. A couple of times he saw friends walk by and he called to them. They were busy, but said they could meet him in the cafe in a bit, right now they had to catch a train. One friend stopped for a moment and told Jason about the awesome train he was going on, and Jason feigned interest. After the friend left, he decided that it might be a good train and ran after his buddy. The train had already left but a porter said that another train would be leaving soon. Jason said, “No thanks, I really wanted to get on with my friend.”
The porter said, “Well I’m sure you can catch up with him in no time.”
Jason shrugged, and went back to the main floor and the perimeter wall. He wondered how it was possible that everybody knew which train to get on except himself, and again he felt very lonely.
Jason looked around and opened his ears. He heard people talking, everybody chatting about their trains, so many many trains. A couple of destinations sounded kind of interesting, and he wanted to follow but he was worried he might not like it once he got on board. He sunk to his knees, but the Conductor was already sitting next to him– oddly, in a lotus position.
The Conductor said to him, “Look, you’re already on a train, why don’t you take one to where you want to go. You can always get off, but the great thing is, even if you get off a train, you get to keep the knowledge and experience. What you learn on one train might help you on another train.”
“Knowing what you don’t want to do is just as important as knowing what you do want to do. But, how do you do know if you don’t want to do something without trying it? One way is to observe the people who are on that train and ask yourself if you want to be like them.”
“But, you should definitely get on a train now. It’s easy to change trains when you are young, it gets much harder to change trains the older you get. Not impossible, but much harder. You’ll have to take my word for it.”
Jason stood up and took a single step forward and found that his foot had crossed the threshold to the entrance of a train, simple as that. But once he entered the train he found the interior looked like the main floor of the station. He felt a rush of vertigo, but rather than back away, he took another step and entered another train, the inside of this one a little smaller and focused. The speed of the train started to carry him along, he felt a wash of momentum and took another step, and now he was headed down a platform toward the fuselage of a silver train. His determination took him across another threshold and into the rear car of a long train. He was warmly greeted by the others on the train, though he’d never met a single one of them. He had too much energy to sit, and found that even though he had just entered the train, it was his job to help get the train up to speed. As he worked with the others, he felt the train leave the station.
From the top of the staircase The Conductor watched the train leave, his heart filled with happiness, his eyes glassed over with joy, even though he knew he would not be seeing very much of Jason. He turned and picked up his broom. He had a mess to clean up on the other side of the station. “God-damn Black Train” he thought.
And where was Jason going? The Conductor did not know, but couldn’t wait to hear about his travels when they met up at the cafe for a break.
Clarence kissed Justin on the forehead and tucked him in. Justin looked at him and said, “Gee Dad, are you trying to tell me something? Your metaphor was rather obvious, and the vernacular more appropriate to a Fourth Grader. Also, I think you’ll find that the good Doctor Seuss covered this subject pretty well in ‘Oh The Places you Will Go’ And, I’m too old for bedtime stories.”
“That’s a good book, read it again some time. No one is ever to old for a bedtime story” whispered Clarence. He smiled, and hoped he was doing the best he could.
An Obvious Allegory in One Act
One evening, Clarence sat down with his son Justin to tell him a bedtime
story. Justin was a bright lad, but his Dad, probably for no just cause,
worried about him all the time. Justin didn’t seem to worry at all, as he thought he was doing fine. But Clarence saw his son heading down the same tracks he had gone, and, like every decent father on the planet, he hoped that his son would have a better and happier life than his own.
As they settled in and the story was about to begin, Clarence wanted to be sure that his son knew he was trying to impart some particular fatherly wisdom. So, he changed the names of the characters slightly, hoping that his boy would get the hint.
“There once was a boy named Jason”
“Really Dad?” Justin asked sarcastically.
“Good”, thought Clarence, “he gets it.”
“There once was a boy named Jason, who was wandering about happily in a huge city, when he came upon a great train station. The station was larger than Grand Central in New York City, and packed with commuters buzzing around briskly a they made their way to and from the tunnels that took them to the tracks. Jason descended the magnificent staircase onto the central floor of the station where he wandered through the throngs, most people were to busy to even take notice of him, although some offered an occasional “Pardon me” as they knocked into him.
Jason noticed that most people were in a tremendous hurry, others were walking a little slower, and some people were standing on the outskirts, staring with mouth agape at the great activity. He walked around a bit getting a feeling for the layout of the station; all of the things he expected to be there were– a cafe with people sitting and chatting, rest rooms, a magazine shop, the usual stuff. But after a few hours he grew bored and wanted to go home. He was able to locate the staircase and climbed it, but at the top he found that the Exit doors, the same ones he had come in, were no longer there. In their place were even more track entrances, with people hurrying in an out, obviously the were trying to make a train, or they had just gotten off and were going to another track.
Jason thought there must be another exit somewhere, and he walked the perimeter trying to find an exit, so he could head back home. But, it simply was not to be, and after many more hours and he sat and felt about to cry.
At this moment, a kindly looking older gentleman in a pressed uniform with epaulets approached him.
“Everything OK, son?”
“No, I want to go home” said Jason.
“Well, you are definitely headed in the right direction” said the man.
“Really? Where’s the exit? I can’t find one anywhere.”
“You seem like a bright boy, in your searching, did you find an exit anywhere?
“No” said Jason. He felt like crying again. The man’s words were of no help, and spun his head in circles worse than being lost in the crowd on the station floor. The man then introduced himself as “The Conductor,” and Jason told him his name.
The Conductor said, “Perhaps you just didn’t recognize them. You could continue to look for an Exit, but since you haven’t found one yet, wouldn’t you agree, bright boy that you are, that there aren’t any.”
“Well, if there are no exits, how do I get where I want to go?”
“This is a train station, may I suggest you take a train?” said the Conductor.
“How do I know which train to take?”
“Which train do you want to take?”
“The one that will take me home. Can you tell me?”
“No, you have to decide, it’s your choice. If you are old enough to be in the train station, then you’re old enough to take a train. I can help you decide, and it complicates things a bit that you don’t know, but I’m sure you can find the right train. Why don’t we walk around together and maybe you’ll see a train that’s right for you”
“What if I don’t want to take a train” asked Jason, again felt weepy, homesick.
“That’s a difficult question, but the easy answer is to say that you are already on a train. You boarded one as soon as you walked in the station.”
“It doesn’t look like I’m on a train, where are the porters and the sleeping car? I’m in the station, not on a train”. Jason was getting agitated.
“You will have to trust me on this, but you are, in fact, already on a train. A very slow moving and boring one that is barely going anywhere. But, it’s destination is ultimately the same as every other train around here, and you will get there one day. Once you get on a real train, you will see that you have been on a train since the day you were born. Anyway, let’s walk around, and you can ask me anything you like.”
Jason had no better plan, so he got up and walked with the Conductor.
Jason and the Conductor went back to the top of the steps and looked down on the station floor.
The Conductor spoke, “See them all? They are all here to catch a train. Some of them know exactly what train they want, others don’t really know what train they want but still take trains in hopes of getting them to a place where they can make a better decision.”
“That’s stupid” said Jason. “Why would you take a train if you don’t know where it’s going?”
“Because it might be headed in the right direction. People can think about where they want to go, then make an educated guess about which train will take them in there. They can ask other people on those trains if it is helping them go to where they want to go. In general, people are very helpful and happy to give directions. Incredibly, sometimes jumping on a random train will also take you where you want to go. don’t discount that piece of information.”
“Isn’t there a ticket booth? Can’t I just buy a ticket for the right train? asked Jason, knowing a little about how proper train stations (ones with Exits, for instance) work.
“No, but we do have a helpful information booth.. If we sold tickets, we’d have to guarantee that you would get there, and we just can’t do that. No guarantees in this station, just to complicated.” said the Conductor with a smirk. “And money? Who knows what that really is?”
Again, Jason grew frustrated, and his ears turned red. He took a deep breath, which always helps, and asked, “Who are the people standing at the edges watching the travelers?”
“These are people who, for whatever reason, aren’t active passengers. Maybe they never wanted to go anywhere. Sadly, some of them may have tried out the trains, and fallen off, were pushed off, or just gave up. I think the worst off are the ones who were so entertained by the spectacle, that they would rather watch than participate. However, Jason, it is important for you to remember that like you, these people are all on a train of their own, all headed for the same destination.” This talk of a final destination sounded rather ominous, but the Conductor spoke about if matter-of-factly, so it must be a given truth.
The duo descended the staircase to the floor. Jason was warming to the idea of taking a train to where he wanted to go, which still, at this point, was back home. The cumulative excitement tall around was effecting him, especially as he heard people talking about the trains they were going to catch. Some of them had interesting destinations, though he didn’t hear anything that really made him want to get on a train, yet.
The Conductor took Jason to the cafe and got him a table, then excused himself to wait in line for coffee and pastries. Jason looked around at the others in the cafe, seemed like lots of old friends sitting at tables chatting. He listened in on a group of men sitting next to him:
Guy #1- “I’m pretty happy with my train so far, it hasn’t been perfect but it’s been pretty good. I’ve heard about another train that I am going to catch in a few days, sounds like it is going closer to where I want to be”
Guy #2- “My train is perfect, it’s exactly the train I knew I wanted” but Jason thought he heard a bit of doubt in the man’s voice.
Guy #3- “I hate my train, but I can’t get off right now. Hopefully one day I can change trains. I wish I’d thought a bit more before I got on”
Guy #4- “Well, I just got on the same train that my father always took.”
Guy #5- “I don’t know, I think you guys are lucky, I am still trying to decide which train to catch, there are so many! I’ve taken a few, but nothing seems to be right for me. I’m enjoying all the different rides, but I wish I could find the right rail to roll on.”
Guy #6 was curiously silent, like he didn’t want to talk about his train, or, perhaps, his lack of one.
The men all started discussing the various choices they had made. Surprisingly, all of the men envied the other men’s decision in some ways. Jason also heard the men talk about side trips they had taken on smaller trains, but somehow they never got off the main train they were riding. Again, confusion made his head spin. The men got up and said their good-byes, and agreed to meet up again soon.
The Conductor, came back with a snack which helped revive Jason. Jason asked about the concept of being on more than one train at a time.
The Conductor wiped crumbs from his moustache, and said, “You can be on as many trains as you want, however, lets face it, if you are on too many trains you won’t be able to enjoy them all. Some people can handle riding on many trains, but most people like to be on one train and have a few smaller trains on the side to keep things interesting. People who are on just one train tend to be kind of boring, but that’s just my opinion.” And with that, he pushed his chair back and said, “Why don’t we look into a few trains and see if any are of interest to you. If you want, you can try it an see if you like it. If you don’t you can get off and try another”.
They headed into a tunnel and saw a train about to leave. More people getting on than off this one, it looked pretty nice. As they walked along side the train, Jason peered in the windows and saw the folks getting comfortable. He noticed as they progressed that the seats and cabins got nicer and more refined as they got closer to the engine. The most forward cabins were richly appointed and the passengers were very happy to be there. Jason was excited at the luxury and tried to jump right into the first class cabin, but a porter caught him and booted him out, and sternly pointed to the caboose end.
Jason looked at the Conductor, and sprayed, “What the hell? I found a train I wanted to be on, and I got kicked off.”
“Sorry, you can’t just get on at the front, you have to start at the back and work your way forward. That’s the rules. On some trains it’s easier to get to the front, but definitely, the ones with the best first class are the longest ones that require the most effort to work your way forward.”
Again, Jason was mystified, and angry. He glanced across the platform at a train that was about to leave, and even though it was in the station next to all the other trains, almost everybody avoided it. The tracks ahead of it seemed to veer off quickly in a different direction than all the other trains. It was short, just three cars and you entered into the lead car, though it was obvious that the back cars were packed like a Japanese subway at rush hour. Painted jet black, the windows were all tinted and music was blaring from inside. A sign said, “All welcome. No problem, Free ticket, One way, Get there FAST!”
Well now, this immediately appealed to Jason, and he ran over to it and stuck his head in. It smelled funny and was very dark, but a Porter came right over and offered him a seat in the First Class.
As he was about to step aboard, he heard the Conductor whisper in his ear, “If this is the train you really want to take, it leaves every ten seconds or so. You might want to check out some of the other trains first though. They might not let you ride on them once you’ve been on the black train. And, it is very, very hard to get off the black train once you get on.”
The freezing air conditioning that poured out of the black train sent a chill down Jason’s spine, and he backed off the train, seconds before it lit out of the station in an explosion of fireworks, that fizzled as soon as they burst.
Jason turned to speak to the Conductor, he had a lot more questions, but the man was not there. He thought he saw him walking back into the central station, so he ran after the blue uniform. Once he reached the main floor, he knew it would be impossible to find him amongst the bustling crowds. Jason had never felt more alone than he did now, and again retreated to the perimeter walls to reflect on his plight.
He stood among those with the slack jaws and blank stare. It was pretty entertaining to just stand on the sidelines and watch the throng of people before him. A couple of times he saw friends walk by and he called to them. They were busy, but said they could meet him in the cafe in a bit, right now they had to catch a train. One friend stopped for a moment and told Jason about the awesome train he was going on, and Jason feigned interest. After the friend left, he decided that it might be a good train and ran after his buddy. The train had already left but a porter said that another train would be leaving soon. Jason said, “No thanks, I really wanted to get on with my friend.”
The porter said, “Well I’m sure you can catch up with him in no time.”
Jason shrugged, and went back to the main floor and the perimeter wall. He wondered how it was possible that everybody knew which train to get on except himself, and again he felt very lonely.
Jason looked around and opened his ears. He heard people talking, everybody chatting about their trains, so many many trains. A couple of destinations sounded kind of interesting, and he wanted to follow but he was worried he might not like it once he got on board. He sunk to his knees, but the Conductor was already sitting next to him– oddly, in a lotus position.
The Conductor said to him, “Look, you’re already on a train, why don’t you take one to where you want to go. You can always get off, but the great thing is, even if you get off a train, you get to keep the knowledge and experience. What you learn on one train might help you on another train.”
“Knowing what you don’t want to do is just as important as knowing what you do want to do. But, how do you do know if you don’t want to do something without trying it? One way is to observe the people who are on that train and ask yourself if you want to be like them.”
“But, you should definitely get on a train now. It’s easy to change trains when you are young, it gets much harder to change trains the older you get. Not impossible, but much harder. You’ll have to take my word for it.”
Jason stood up and took a single step forward and found that his foot had crossed the threshold to the entrance of a train, simple as that. But once he entered the train he found the interior looked like the main floor of the station. He felt a rush of vertigo, but rather than back away, he took another step and entered another train, the inside of this one a little smaller and focused. The speed of the train started to carry him along, he felt a wash of momentum and took another step, and now he was headed down a platform toward the fuselage of a silver train. His determination took him across another threshold and into the rear car of a long train. He was warmly greeted by the others on the train, though he’d never met a single one of them. He had too much energy to sit, and found that even though he had just entered the train, it was his job to help get the train up to speed. As he worked with the others, he felt the train leave the station.
From the top of the staircase The Conductor watched the train leave, his heart filled with happiness, his eyes glassed over with joy, even though he knew he would not be seeing very much of Jason. He turned and picked up his broom. He had a mess to clean up on the other side of the station. “God-damn Black Train” he thought.
And where was Jason going? The Conductor did not know, but couldn’t wait to hear about his travels when they met up at the cafe for a break.
Clarence kissed Justin on the forehead and tucked him in. Justin looked at him and said, “Gee Dad, are you trying to tell me something? Your metaphor was rather obvious, and the vernacular more appropriate to a Fourth Grader. Also, I think you’ll find that the good Doctor Seuss covered this subject pretty well in ‘Oh The Places you Will Go’ And, I’m too old for bedtime stories.”
“That’s a good book, read it again some time. No one is ever to old for a bedtime story” whispered Clarence. He smiled, and hoped he was doing the best he could.
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